Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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