Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
