I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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