Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize