She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
