this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
