What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Four minutes until I can fart!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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