i just wanna soil my oats bro
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
