I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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