what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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