Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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