God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
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