shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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