chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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