Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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