I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize