i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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