He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize