all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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