69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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