The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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