Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
