my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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