Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Randomize
