"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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