He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Randomize
