my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Randomize