omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
