My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Bring me that man meat
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
