Got a toothbrush?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
