i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
