did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
