i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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