just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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