..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
