Don't you send me to vm
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize