Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
