good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
