I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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