making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
