Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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