First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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