just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Let's get the cat blown out
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
