Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
