Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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