Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
