Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize