Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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