Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
