dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
When are your genitals available?
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
