yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My vagina just clenched in fear
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
