Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
