so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
