it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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