Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
