I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize