I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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