We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
