Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
