I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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